More often than not, there is one piece of advice that stands above all others… FORGIVE. At one point or another, I have given this advice to every single client that sees me. I ask that they either forgive others, situations, or themselves. Why is forgiveness such an important thing? Well, let’s BLOG about it.
There is so much baggage in everyone’s lives. We are bogged down with situations in our past, people in our past, and our own actions in the past. Most of us carry it around like we are bound to it, as if there is no other way to live. Why is this? It is because forgiving, while absolutely necessary, is one of the hardest things to accomplish. But again, it is absolutely vital to living the highest quality of life.
Forgiving others is one of the best things we can do. When people do us wrong, we must muster up the strength and courage to forgive their wrong doings and show mercy. This is a wonderful thing, indeed. However, it is totally to our benefit! Forgiving others allows our spirits to be free of the pain or treachery that has been laid upon us. Forgiveness liberates us, as well as those who seek it.
Forgiving situations is also necessary to moving on in life. As we all know, sometimes things just happen. We had no control in the situation and in certain cases; the other party had no control, or malicious intent. Nobody sat out to hurt the other, it simply happened. In these situations, forgiveness is good for both parties and allows us to put those situations behind us.
But sadly, of all the forgiving to do, forgiving ourselves is the hardest. For whatever reason, we hold on to our own wrong doings more than anyone we have ever hurt. There is something about a good hearted person that just refuses to forgive themselves for the wrongs they’ve done, even after those we have hurt have expressed their forgiveness of our actions. This is self-defeating, deflating, and abuse. We simply cannot allow ourselves to carry the burden the rest of our lives. We have to make peace with those we’ve wronged, vow to do better, and MOVE ON about it. If you do not, it is on you.
Many people believe that they need to carry the guilt as a means of penance for what they’ve done. In most scenarios, this is not the right way. Now, if you are telling me that you intentionally killed a kitten with a lawn mower, you should carry that guilt. Conversely, if you accidentally caused harm to the animal- you must let the guilt go. Forgive yourself for the accident and release the self-punishment.
As for forgiving and forgetting… this is not always the best. Forgive always, forget never. Why is this? Forgetting the wrong that has been done makes you susceptible to going through the same situation at another time. Remember the wrong that someone did and vow that you will never again fall victim to it. But be careful, remembering the situation can often breed resentment and hatred. You do not want that. What you want is to forgive the wrong, remember that it happened, but not allow it to disturb your mental peace any further. Make peace with it, but don’t forget it.
I hope that this blog has encouraged you to drop some of the baggage you have been carrying. Further, I hope that it has inspired you to forgive those who’ve wronged you and to seek forgiveness from those you’ve wronged. In doing so, you will find yourself liberated from the ghosts of your pasts and living a lighter, happier life.
All My Love,